Don't Hire Martian

We don't have an expensive office.

Not in Venice or Madison Ave or wherever agencies drop tiny outposts to flex online. Oh, we might be there--we’re a remote, fully distributed org--but our views are of coffeeshops and moody cats. Better for you, us, and the cats.

We haven't won any awards.

We’ve never even submitted to an award, and we aren’t about to start. Our work needs to work for our partners, not jaded old ad guys looking to brag on LinkedIn about all the juries they’re on. We get it, Joel, you’re still very important.

We haven't been around since the 60s.

And that’s a good thing. We all know those agencies that still have that Mad Men vibe in 2021...gross. Not us. We’re not looking back on what we did before; we’re thinking about what we’re doing next and who to do it with.

We didn't go to ad school.

And so we don't think like advertisers, and we aren’t trying to be advertisers (although respect: advertisers always have nice shoes). We think like entrepreneurs because that's what we are, and that's why our partners rely on us for more than just content.

We won't wow you with our pitch.

Or pitch you at all. Most of our work comes from partners who already trust us. So we don’t employ a team of interns building elaborate presentations to “win the business.” Maybe it’s just us, but if someone wins, that sounds like the business loses.

We aren't going to prove how hard we work.

You’ll know because of how good the work is. Look, we don’t know who decided advertising required working till 4am—we suspect it was some 80s dudes on epic amounts of drugs—but that’s not healthy, so that’s not how we do things.

We don't talk about our culture.

You don’t care. We work here, and we don’t even care, at least not enough to throw million dollar holiday parties. Here’s our culture: do awesome work and be nice to everyone. Clients, employees, strangers, parents, dogs—whoever and wherever.

We won't bury you in titles.

No going through the Account Coordinator who has to check with the Account Manager who needs sign-off from the Group Account Director. We don’t know the difference, frankly, and we hope to never learn.

We don't want you to hire us.

So please don’t. Hiring is amazing when it’s for someone to refill the coffee machine. That dude is amazing. But when it’s about the future of your business? Na, that ain’t it.